IMPORTANT NOTE: Most of the posts in this blog are intended for those who are already familiar with the Releasing Process, so it is assumed that since they know the basics, they will be able to easily grasp the content of the posts. Otherwise, it can be difficult or even confusing to read through the posts. If you are yet to learn the basics of the Releasing Process, and would want to commit yourself to learning the Process, then it is strongly recommended to attend at least one of the programs/seminars/retreats in which the Process is taught, such as Emotional Freedom workshops.
Whether we want to advance spiritually or have more material abundance in our life, one of the most basic wants for most of us, is to feel better. We want to stop feeling difficult feelings like pain, disappointment, fear, loneliness etc and want to feel more of the positive feelings. We want to experience feelings of love, joy, connection and so on. Upon reflection, almost anyone can find out that no matter what we are all trying to do, to get or to be, what we are really wanting is to experience the feelings that we believe those things will give us. I would still go further as to say that every living being’s basic instinct is to move towards pleasure and to move away from pain. Every activity, whether conscious or unconscious, is towards this end. For us human beings, pleasure would be the positive feelings that we want to experience while pain would be the negative feelings that we want to avoid experiencing. For instance, just suppose that you want to have a great house. You’re trying really hard to buy one or build one. You are spending lots of time, money, other resources and your effort to have a great house. Now, check what is it that you are really trying to get by having the house? Isn’t it that you just don’t need the house, but that because it means something to you to have it, that is why you need it? It may be that you want to experience feelings of joy or accomplishment, or maybe feel a sense of security or comfort, or feel a sense of gratitude, or feel more connected with your family and loved ones, or just have a feeling of personal validation (you may want to prove to yourself or someone else that you can accomplish things), and/or it can be that you want to avoid feeling insecure or fearful, or want to avoid feeling that you are not worthy enough, or want to avoid feeling bad when your inner-critic tells you that you cannot provide well for yourself or your loved ones. Can you notice that no matter what it is, it all boils down to experiencing certain feelings and not experiencing certain others? For you, it may not be a great house, it may be a great job, great relationships, great marriage, lots of money, or just living a life with ease. Or, it may be spiritual advancement or even enlightenment (even though enlightenment has nothing to do with feeling good or not feeling bad at all!). No matter what it is, honestly check for yourself what it is that you are really trying to get through any or all of them.
A thorough self-examination like this alone can prove to be an eye-opening, insightful experience for most of us, and we may realize how important a place feelings and emotions have in our life. However, the objective of this post is not that. The objective is to underline one basic fact: many people who use The Releasing Process would use it solely as a tool to feel better and to avoid feeling pain. As discussed in one of the previous posts (see: http://coal2diamond.com/what-is-the-real-purpose-of-the-releasing-process/) the real purpose of using the Releasing Process is far more than just as a “feel-good” tool. By continuously releasing the inner-negativity using the Process many realize the fact that it is not always a comfortable experience having to face one’s own unconscious stuff. In fact, many times we have to use our will to stay open and be present to the discomfort, both physical and mental, which we feel while facing the upward push of our unconscious mind until it passes away. But that is precisely what the Process is designed to do: to help us deal with our deep, unconscious limitations so that those are integrated and we become whole again or rather, we realize the wholeness and perfection within us.
Moving Beyond the “Feel-good” Paradigm
In the previous post, we explored how using the Process as an excuse to manipulate our circumstances and others around us can be a sure way to sabotage our journey to Freedom. We saw how we would try to use the tool so that we get all the “good stuff” that we have always craved for. So, what is another important way to sabotage the journey to Freedom? Using the process as a “feel-good” tool can land us into stuck-ness just as using it to manipulate our circumstances and other people around us. Freedom demands that we move beyond the wanting to always experience the positive emotions. I am not saying that it is bad or wrong or unethical to want to experience positive emotions. The point is that it is impossible to always experience what we want to experience. Every experience sooner or later ends and gives way to another. Everything changes. EVERYTHING. There is just no way that we can permanently have anything in life. Life is constant change. There exists no method or tool or path in this world that can help us have permanent satisfaction in this world. That can sound very pessimistic, but it is not meant to be so. Life is constant change, is just stating the fact as to what life is. It is just like saying the earth is spherical. There is no argument about it. It doesn’t matter whether anyone accepts it or not. What is a fact, stays a fact irrespective of our judgements or perceptions about it.
Freedom is not about experiencing anything permanent in this world. Freedom is about going beyond the need to feel good. Freedom is realizing that we are whole and complete and that we don’t need anything to make us whole or complete. A practitioner of the Releasing Process will experience more of the positive emotions than negative emotions, but that is more a by-product of using the Process than its true purpose. The key to keep moving towards Freedom is to use the Process to welcome whatever we are experiencing in this moment, be it good or bad, positive or negative. The Process will give us the tools to develop equanimity towards ALL emotions we are capable of experiencing. When we set our intention to use the Process, let’s not have any particular preference for any feeling or emotion. What we need to keep in the forefront of our consciousness is that every emotion, EVERY emotion, we experience is coming up to help us free ourselves of our own inner-limitations so that we get closer to realizing what Freedom is. Keeping this understanding in the forefront of our consciousness will help us keep moving with the Process no matter what we are experiencing in the moment. At times, it can get quite difficult to stay open to the heavy, painful emotions that come to the surface but the more we keep using the Process, the more we develop our muscle of equanimity, which will help us even further on the road to Freedom.
In this regard, there is one every important thing that we need to understand:
The moment you start to seriously use the Releasing Process, from that moment onward, anything that you experience, ANYTHING, no matter what it is, is part of the Process.
So, every time you experience any difficult emotion, feeling, or sensation, welcome all of that and keep using the Process. Any time you feel that you are getting stuck, welcome the stuck-ness and also, any wanting to control it.
Remember, using the Process is not about shoving away your painful emotions. You are like the sky and the emotions that you experience are like the clouds. The clouds cannot exist without the sky, and yet, the sky is not at all affected by what is happening to the clouds, They keep coming and going. Using the Process is to bring about the gradual realization that you ARE the sky, NOT the clouds passing by.